When the Hurt Is Old

There are old hurts that lie quiet inside a marriage. You don't talk about them anymore, but they show up in the most unexpected moments — in a tone of voice, in a distance, in a resistance you can't quite explain yourself. Old hurts need to be tended to. Sometimes that means conversation. Sometimes it means prayer. Sometimes it means help — a pastor, a counselor. Paul uses the word "forbear" — and it doesn't mean silently putting up with something. It means carrying together the weight of human imperfection, of real mistakes, of the disappointments that are part of any long relationship. The model is Christ — who knew all our flaws and came anyway. Let that love teach you to tend to the hurts that still ache.