Preferring one another

To prefer. It's a word that goes against the natural current of the ego. The ego wants to be preferred — it wants the other to give in first, ask forgiveness first, change first. But the love Paul describes moves in the opposite direction: you prefer the other.

In marriage, this can show up in small things: who chooses the restaurant, who decides the weekend plans, who gives in during an argument when both are tired. But it goes beyond the small things — it's a posture of the heart. It's waking up thinking: what can I do today to make him feel honored? Not as servitude — as love. There's a kind of magic in this: when both practice it, no one loses out. Preferring the other in love creates a cycle of generosity that feeds the marriage from the inside out.